Two Worlds
July 23, 2009
Each time I consider writing a blogpost, I usually go with what I’m feeling and thinking about at the moment. Most recently, the topics have been centred around the difficulties of living in two worlds. Here and there, home and abroad. But the pain of processing what I feel into words, then posting them only to be misunderstood and trampled has detered me from doing so more often.
Most recently the frustrations of mapping out meeting up with friends has brought me back to this topic. A friend commented, “We have a life here. You’re on vacation”. While true, it hurt alot. I know and respect that everybody I know here have lives that I no longer run in tandem with. But it hurt to be confronted with that. My place here is no longer what it used to be. Its temporary, passing and smaller than what it used to be.
You are here and I am there. You are there but I am here. We run into old schoolmates or friends and the common question is, “so where are you now?” I stand here before you, but I’m really no where at all.
Its the strangest feeling to be glad to be home yet have a sense of displacement haunt your heart. Something’s always got to give.
John 14:1-3 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 2In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
i felt sad reading this, we’ll talk on monday yes?
life just flows on – your place here isn’t exactly the way it was, but don’t forget that it’s not permanent! when school’s over, we’ll weave ourselves in and out of lives again.
change, or being in the midst of it, is a sad thing for for creature comfort lovers like us i think, but i appreciate how it works as a natural filter that leaves the most impt things/people untouched. YOU are important and i’ll always make time for you! xx
Hey Dil, I feel ya. For me it’s at the next stage – I can’t even answer to myself the question of where is home. Every time I try to answer that question, something will crop up that makes me think ‘Why did I ever think that??’ But never, for a moment, ever think that you’re alone or not loved.
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Knowing that I’m never alone
Even if Your hand takes my home
To the other side of the sea
Your love will find me
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