Burning Out
October 26, 2009
This burden on my back I cannot bear. The weight on my heart I cannot lift.
Its hard to say if Retreat was good or bad. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t that good. I’m glad I got to spend time with God, listen to Him and feel His presence. But on the other hand, there is unmistakable sadness, burden, pain and weight I cannot rid myself of. I know I’m where He wants me, doing what He wants me to but cannot help that I’m not doing what I should be.
Its frustrating and lonely, which makes it even more frustrating. Its hard to relate this to anyone because its so persistent. It runs under the happiness and lightness I feel at many times. I have peace but yet I am also troubled. I have no energy to spend with the people I want to love, I have no time to do the things I love.
Burning out sucks. Its so slow and for a period of time, there’s nothing you can do. You need to stop and rest but things need to keep moving, to keep going. The world doesn’t stop the world for you. But I know full well, with full assurance that all the pain and frustration I feel comes because God is changing me. He’s working in my life and He’s not done yet 
In that I have hope and joy!
16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Hey Dil,
Not sure if this helps, but I dealt with this earlier, and what God taught me was that it was his burden to carry and not mine. Sometimes it is also humility to allow God to carry you on his shoulders and not you to carry him. Anyway, if you ever need help, or just someone to hang out with, just give a call.
-Wai
Thanks Wai
Yeah I’m learning that too. Its His burden and He’s placed it on me/in me for a reason. For that I have hope and give thanks! Hope IR went well.
my dear i so appreciate how you end every sad entry with an optimistic outlook – something i find really hard to do sometimes. reading this uplifted my spirits, thank you
Oh Jules I miss you! Its been a while since we caught up (or at least it feels that way).
Praying for you. I can only be optimistic because of the lasting hope in Christ. I really mean that.
<3 LOVE YOU
Hi there! you picked one of my favourite passages, apart from the pressurized coke can passage…
What? What coke can passage?
It’s earlier…. 2 Cor 4:7-12 — like a coke can under pressure from all sides, what keeps us firm is the presence of God in us. “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”
Be of good cheer… or at least, that’s my prayer for you right now.
okay dil, this is totally NOT related but i found your English A1 HL – Part 2 Detailed Study (Poetry) book, the one with robert frost etc.
don’t kill me, i have absolutely no idea why it’s with me.
i plan to keep it and sell your handwriting when you become famous =D
lol why do you have my book!? my handwriting has madly detoriated. you should sell mel’s, sure make more money than me.